I think it happened round about the time I took over as an owner of the main Doctor Who group around 2 and a half years ago now. Before that, I had fun.
I've been in SL for about 4 years now. I remember the first 2ish years...days spent messing around in Club Rockaway (which is now closed) or spent in my first, original massive TARDIS in the old sim of Nassau Shores. Days spent having...fun.
The Doctor Who community about 3 years ago was a confusing mess. No central group or location. The Doctor Who group fixed that, and getting what was Katrina, and now Europa to the top of the search results fixed that as well. All the while, things started creeping up on me, more work, piled on more work. More money being spent...a LOT more than I should have been spending.
The move to the new house in April has shifted my budget considerably. Before the move things ticked over niceley. Now, after the move, with RFL, and SL9B and the IFT Sci-Fi Convention all steamrolling into the same two months, and the offset of a lack of money, have dug me into a small pit.
I spend about 10 to 11 hours a day in Second Life. Out of those hours i'm guessing that around 1 hour of it...is my own. The other 9 or 10 is spent doing...work.
...and for what?
I'm looking at my bank account right now. I'm a smoker, not a heavy one, only about 10 a day. I don't even have enough money for smokes until next week.
10 to 11 hours a day, spending more money than i should be spending. It finally hit home today when I looked at Brunel Hall. The hall was set up to pay for about just over half of it's own tier...which is does, that plan worked. The next plan was to set up Foot Tappin Friday as a permanent weekly event in Brunel. The tips from those weekly events would make up even more money. Except it didnt happen that way. I found myself 'too busy with other stuff' to do a weekly show so I had to take it in turns with Blackberry. Either stuff to do with the Dr Who community or the marketing of it. Before the move...i could take the hit.
Not now though.
I realised about 4 hours ago that the way things are right now, if it continued I would end up losing the hotel by the end of summer.
10 to 11 hours a day...with the bulk of it spent helping OTHER people benefit while I just keep throwing more and more money at things in SL, and spend more and more time 'working'...but for what exactly?
Everyone else benefits...but me.
Now i need to go for a week without smokes and have the real problem of losing the only place i can still actually have a break at...Brunel Hall? I do NOT think so...
Since I'm gonna be forced to give up smoking (hey does that count as a benefit you ask? ask that again when i try and tear yer head off in three days...) I may as well change a few other things with my 'Second Life'.
It's time i made time...for myself.